


a hat fashioned from tin foil

by kabukichou (ameliafromafairytale)



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Antisemitism, Conspiracy Theories, Gen, POV Outsider, Pre-New 52, Pre-Reboot, Racism, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameliafromafairytale/pseuds/kabukichou
Summary: nightwang @karakurachou– 8 hours agojason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory threadBatfam conspiracy theories meet social media.





	a hat fashioned from tin foil

**Author's Note:**

> so, disclaimer, i haven't really read comics since about...2013. so 1) newer characters and characterizations will not make an appearance simply bc i don't know anything about them, sorry 2) there's no doubt i've messed up timelines and ages a bit. it's comics, i don't care. don't think too hard about it. 3) it's been so long since i've read comics that i'm not entirely sure what's canon, what's fanon, and what's something i read in a fic once. please don't get mad at me i'm writing this entirely on a whim and for my own enjoyment 4) NONE OF THE LINKS ARE REAL. nothing leads anywhere don't click on anything please i just stylized it to make it LOOK like there are links
> 
> anyway i kind of happen to have a thing for social media fic (they're outsider pov but better), which you may be able to tell if you've read anything of mine before, so this fic is what it says on the tin - how batfam conspiracy theories manifest on social media.
> 
> if any of these usernames are yours or resemble yours i promise its a coincidence. the only actual usernames i knowingly used are my own.

**nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
FIRST OF ALL i mean no disrespect to the waynes, i’m not trying to make fun of their loss, this is JUST a conspiracy theory. conspiracy theory =/= REAL. get it straight!

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
anyway, some background. jason peter todd, born 16 august 1994, was 15 when he “died” on 7 december 2009. obvs, we’ll get to the circumstances of his death later

[Image attached: Jason Todd, age 15, posing for the camera with a wicked grin on his face. He’s holding a brand new cherry red electric guitar.]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
jason was from crime alley, a location in gotham city notorious for its (you got it) crime – one of the most prominent cases being the murder of thomas and martha wayne back in the 80s

[Image attached: Scanned front page of the _Gotham Gazette_ from the day after the Waynes were murdered. Headline reads “TRAGEDY IN CRIME ALLEY”]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
bruce wayne alleges that he sometimes stops by crime alley to pay respects to his parents (bruce wayne should also consider getting therapy, but that’s a conspiracy theory for another day)

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
in 2006, wayne was visiting crime alley on the anniversary of his parents’ death. enter jason: scrappy little street kid who tried to lift BRUCE WAYNE’S tires so he could sell them for some quick cash

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
long story short, wayne catches him in the act, gets called “A BIG BOOB,” decides his nest is a little empty what with kid number one being away at boarding school, and takes jason home

[Image attached: screenshot from official court transcripts of Bruce Wayne testifying to adopt Jason Todd. Highlighted is a section that reads “WAYNE: He, ah…well, he didn’t take kindly to me trying to get my tires back. Hit me with the tire iron and ah…well, **_he called me a ‘big boob.’_** [laughs] I was so stunned, he almost got away!”]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
wayne gets an expedited adoption process bc $$$ and before you know it, jason todd is the second kid in what will eventually become a brood of adopted children

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
like richard “dick” grayson (kid numero uno), jason has a hard time adjusting to the life of being the son of a multi-billionaire celebrity. unlike dick, however, jason never really adapts

[Images attached: Four screenshots of news articles detailing Jason Todd getting into disagreements at various social functions with other guests. He sports a black eye and a ripped tuxedo in one of them.]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
this is where the conspiracy theory kicks in. wayne has been suspected of child abuse before, but the charges have always been dropped before he’s actually been brought to court

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
there were concerns early on with dick because he frequently came to school with bruises and sometimes broken limbs, but it is true that dick was literally raised in a circus as an acrobat

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
pretty much everything was hand-waved away as dick being a very rowdy child, and evidence seems to show that was exactly the case

[Images attached: The first is a picture of nine-year-old Dick Grayson dangling from a chandelier in Wayne Manor above an incredibly distressed-looking Bruce Wayne. The second is a picture of Dick, same age as the previous photo, mid-routine on a set of uneven bars. The third photo is Dick, age 17, posing next to a shiny new sports motorcycle.]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
side note – dick holds multiple world records for all kinds of acrobat shit. did you know he’s like the only known person capable of doing a quadruple flip??? goddamn

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
ANYWAY. the point is that people were also concerned jason was being abused bc he kept showing up with bruises and broken bones too, except he didn’t have the excuse of being an adhd circus brat

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
OTHER people, however, postulated that jason might have been moonlighting as robin, the more colorful half of gotham’s famed (but incredibly elusive) dynamic duo

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
so recently bruce wayne announced that he’s been acting as the anonymous benefactor behind batman’s operations (how the hell that’s not illegal is unknown to me, but whatever)

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 8 hours ago  
he cited things like wanting to support one of the few forces in gotham dedicated to actively reducing crime and preventing things like the murder of his parents happening, which, ok, extremely valid

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
what he DIDN’T mention was how long, exactly, he’s been funding batman and his various activities and sidekicks. theories here range. wayne STILL refuses to release his taxes. (does batman inc count as a tax write off lmao)

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
one theory is that jason somehow got involved with batman as robin number 2 (or maybe 3, or 1, the bats work very hard to keep that shit as unnoticeable as possible), maybe even before wayne adopted him

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
it would make sense if, once his kid’s life was literally on the line, wayne started funding batman in order to try and keep jason safe(r)

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
anyway, remember earlier when i said jason never really adapted to living with wayne? what if he couldn’t handle it anymore? what if he wanted to just be robin full time??

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
what if he faked his own death so he could escape the high society life of being bruce wayne’s son?

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
details regarding the death of jason todd are murky and hard to come by. what we do know – wayne was out in ethiopia for a business trip and jason was with him. what that business was remains unknown

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
ethiopia, for those of you who failed 7th grade geography, is in eastern africa. it's located in the horn of africa, right next to somalia

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
again, details are sketchy. the official report is that wayne had been taking a break from (unknown) meetings, and decided to go shopping with jason along the main street of the town they were in

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
jason is distracted by something and runs off while brucie wayne is distracted by some nice rugs. or something.

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
we don’t know what jason is distracted by or why he would leave without telling wayne where he was going. what we do know is that at some point after he noticed jason was missing, wayne received a ransom note

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 7 hours ago  
the ransom note hasn’t been released to the public. but wayne couldn’t – or refused to – meet the demands in time, and the building the jason was apparently being kept captive in was blown up, resulting in his death

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
SO, QUICK RECAP. things we don’t know: why wayne was in ethiopia, why jason was with him, why jason left wayne’s side, why jason didn’t tell him where he was going, what the ransom note contained

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
what individual or group was responsible, what their motive was, who the primary suspects are, why wayne has never been investigated, why wayne is still allowed to adopt kids

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
it’s all very suspicious, especially considering how high profile wayne is and how he went on to adopt more children. without knowing some key details in the case, people have started forming conspiracy theories

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
“but jade! robin was MIA for a year after jason died!” yeah i said he faked his death i didn’t say he escaped being blown up unscathed

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
robin reappears roughly a year after jason’s “death” sporting an entirely new outfit – darker colors, and, most importantly, PANTS (and longer gloves). much less exposed skin. maybe to hide scars??

[Images attached: The first is a blurry picture of Robin briefly before Jason Todd’s death. It’s taken from a distance, but a bright yellow cape over a ruby red tunic and very short green bottoms is visible; most of Robin’s arms and legs are exposed. The second is also a blurry picture of Robin, this one from after Jason’s death. The darker colors make the details harder to pick out. The cape looks black with a yellow underbelly, while it appears the costume has shifted to a dark red tunic with dark green pants underneath. Gloves and sleeves cover most of the arms.]

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
ANYWAY, the prevailing theory is that after a period of recovery and therapy, jason todd returns to the streets as robin once more, free of his obligations as a child of high society, no longer under constant public scrutiny

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
jason todd is now legally dead, making it even harder to ascertain robin's true identity if he truly is the one behind the mask

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
i’m ending this thread here, but if you wanna get into some REAL conspiracy shit you should check out jason’s wikipedia page

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
thank you everyone for reading this far!! AGAIN i’m not saying this is real, so PLEASE don’t use this to harass the waynes

 **nightwang @karakurachou –** 6 hours ago  
if you’re gonna harass bruce wayne at least harass him to release his taxes smh

 **luke [pride flag emoji] @gayjedi** – 5 hours ago **  
@karakurachou** DLKSFJLDKF HOLY SHIT I HATE HOW MUCH SENSE THIS MAKES

 **isaac newton’s butthole @skelet0ne** – 3 hours ago  
**@karakurachou @brucewayne** release your taxes bitch

 **Kate @ OTAKON** – 3 hours ago  
**@karakurachou** there is no fucking way this is real but goddamnit if it isn’t an entertaining read

 **Bethany Sommers @PraiseUp8769394** \- 2 hours ago  
**@karakurachou** Hasn't this poor family gone through enough? Why on earth would you make light of their suffering like this? Shame on you!

 **Andrew [frog emoji] @LKlit784934  
@karakurachou ** WARNING!! BRUCE WAYNE IS A PEDOPHILIC CANNIBAL!!! See below image and the link in my pinned tweet for PROOF!! WE CANNOT LET THE LIBERAL ELITE GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!

[Attached image: Low quality, clearly doctored image of Bruce Wayne smiling as he stands next to what appears to be a blood-filled coffin with what may be a body inside. Image text details how the rich eat children to prolong their youth and beauty.]

 

* * *

 

[This article has been locked from editing until December 13, 2018 due to vandalism.]

 **Jason Todd**  
_______________________________________  
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 **Jason Todd** (August 16, 1994 [1] – December 7, 2009[2]) was the second adopted son of **Gotham City** billionaire and philanthropist  Bruce Wayne. He is best known for the highly publicized but notoriously vague details surrounding his death.

 **Contents** [ hide]  
1 Biography  
         1.1 Early life  
         1.2 Adoption by Bruce Wayne  
         1.3 Controversy   
2 Death  
         2.1 Timeline  
         2.2 Known evidence  
         2.3 Missing details  
         2.4 Possible suspects  
3 Conspiracy theories  
         3.1 Masquerading as a vigilante  
         3.2 Faked death  
         3.3 Doppelgänger  
         3.4 Bruce Wayne running a sex trafficking ring  
         3.5 Hauntings/ghost sightings  
4 References  
5 External links

** Haunting/ghost sightings **

Todd has been subject to a number of conspiracy theories after his death, one of which being that his spirit still haunts certain areas of Gotham City. Multiple ghost hunting teams have tried to gain access to **Wayne Manor** , but Wayne has turned down all requests.[56]

This theory has multiple crossovers with the Dopplegänger theory, as some report seeing what they believe is an older version of Todd.

  * **Wayne Manor** is one of the most frequently reported sighting locations, with many guests of Wayne’s social events claiming to see Todd’s ghost in the Manor windows. [57] Observers almost unanimously identify Todd as looking no older than 15 years old, though some have reported seeing a version of Todd that looks to be in his late teens to his early twenties.[58]
  * **Crime Alley** , where Wayne found Todd, has reported occasional sightings as well; though observers almost always claim to see an older version of Todd.[59]
  * Emergency responders and medics at **Gotham General Hospital** reported finding and delivering treatment to a battered young man matching Todd’s description around 2:15am the morning of January 7, 2009, exactly one month after Todd’s death. [60] Medics claim the young man would not or could not identify himself (possibly due to the head injury it appeared he had suffered), and that all he did was call for “Bruce” over and over.[60] Doctors diagnosed the boy with severe brain damage later that day, yet he mysteriously vanished before anyone could definitively ascertain his identity. This case stands out for a number of reasons: the young man was wearing a suit and covered in dirt while the tips of his fingers were raw and bleeding from apparently scratching at something (which some believe may be indicative of Todd digging himself out of his own grave, though the month-long gap between his death and supposed resurrection remains a confounding factor[61]), the young man’s injuries were allegedly more in line with a beating than being exposed to an explosion,[60] and it is the only one of the supposed ghost sightings that has not been witnessed on more than one occasion.[61]



 

* * *

 

 **NBC News ✔ @NBCNews** \- 57 minutes ago  
Wayne family asks Internet to “have some respect” after Twitter thread detailing Jason Todd conspiracy theory goes viral  https://t.co/88Pa49ksvQL

 

* * *

 

[Photo: A picture of an 18-year-old Dick Grayson standing next to a 14-year-old Jason Todd. The two are wearing ski gear; Dick has his goggles pushed up and is grinning so widely he's squinting, while Jason has a smaller, though no less authentic grin on his face. Dick has his arm around Jason’s shoulder, and Jason is leaning into the one-armed hug ever so slightly.]

liked by **thewayneandonly** , **brucewayne** , **itseggplantbitch** , and **37,892** others

 **justdickingaround** Salt Lake City, 2008. I wasn’t the best big brother to you, Jason. I was working through some personal stuff stuff, and working through that stuff in a really bad way. I know we fought a lot and said things that I, at least, regret, but I like to remember that sometimes we did get along. I’m sorry for missing your funeral, even though it wasn’t on purpose. I’m sorry for not getting my shit sorted until after you died. I’m sorry I never got to be a better big brother, the one you really deserved, for you. I’m sorry for ever taking my disagreement with Bruce out on you. You were never my replacement; you were your own person with your own hopes and dreams. I hope up in heaven they have girls, Neapolitan ice cream, and cool cars. RIP buddy, we miss you every day.

view all 3,243 comments

 **redinthehood** oh my god this so fucking sappy SHUT UP

 

* * *

 

 **21paper** reblogged **itsgottabeyou**

 **barely-human** :

ok, so, in light of the recent viral twitter thread re: jason todd maybe faking his own death, i thought i’d link some of the other gotham city conspiracy theories. some people make up conspiracy theories to cope with the fact that a murderous clown could kill them at any given moment on any given day, steve!

  * bruce wayne is batman, and his kids have been/are robin. featuring such evidence such as “their butts are the same”
  * dick grayson is nightwing. related to the previous theory, also features heavy “their butts are the same” postulating as evidence (gratuitous ass-shots provided)
  * batman is a vampire. caution, sometimes veers into anti-semitism.
  * batman is just some guy in a batsuit. fucking wild concept but also tbf gotham as a whole is a fucking wild concept. batman is a furry pass it on
  * batman is a metahuman or some kind of nonhuman being. somehow less plausible than batman just being a guy in a batsuit, which is saying something
  * bruce wayne is abusing his kids. caution, obviously deals heavily w child abuse.
  * bruce wayne and batman are dating. ICONIQUE. lois lane could never
  * batman got sent back in time at some point. oh boy strap yourselves in for this one kids bc it’s a real doozy
  * bruce wayne has a thing for ladies on the wrong side of the law. selina kyle, alleged jewel thief, and the mysterious mother of his youngest (and only biological) son, damian, are always a topic of discussion
  * where the fuck is bruce wayne getting all these kids??? seriously, the circus??
  * batman has a hacker on his side. maybe there’s a reason there’s next to no photos of gotham’s vigilantes online!!!
  * bruce wayne is actually deeply traumatized by the murder of his parents and the playboy image is just a persona he puts on for the media. caution, dark and engaging with some serious armchair psychology. a key feature of the “bruce wayne is batman” theory, but also stands alone
  * batman is blackmailing bruce wayne to fund his vigilantism. but really though how is this not illegal
  * bruce wayne died 2 years ago and has been replaced by a doppelganger. remember when he all but disappeared for like 6 months and only made appearances for charity events? yeah
  * the mystery of the (maybe) rotating roster of batman, robin, and batgirl. how many vigilantes does gotham really have?
  * batman and catwoman be fucking. it's your favorite enemies-to-lovers trope, except irl



enjoy! gotham is fucking wild and y’all are so lucky you aren’t stuck here, even if the wayne family is hot as hell

Source: barely-human

#to read #conspiracy theories #OH BOY #gotham r u ok

36,582 notes

 

* * *

 

/r/heroidentities

** Dick Grayson is Nightwing **

submitted 4 years ago by **catlogic**  
19842 upvotes

> Okay. So. Not to accuse Gotham’s own Paris Hilton of vigilante activity, but I’m definitely accusing Gotham’s own Paris Hilton of vigilante activity.
> 
> Nightwing, for all his popularity and charm, is notoriously difficult to catch in any photos (much like Batman). However, the top 3 things mentioned by people Nightwing has saved or assisted regarding his appearance are 1) his ass 2) his hair and 3) his smile. Number 4 is his ass again, and number 5 is people really wanting to get dirty with those fingerstripes of his (hey, no shame). I recently stopped by Blüdhaven (why did I think that was a smart idea) and got up close and personal with Nightwing when he saved my dumb ass after I accidentally walked straight into some gang activity. Can confirm: his ass is indeed the juiciest thang I’ve ever laid eyes on. I could (and would) bounce so many quarters off it if given the chance.
> 
> Anyway, besides his ass, something that really stood out about Nightwing was how incredibly acrobatic he is. Like, I’ve seen heroes in action before, both in person and online. No one, and I mean _no one_ , fights like Nightwing does. I’m talking flips and shit to the _extreme_. He puts every Olympic gold medalist to shame without even looking like he’s trying. It honestly doesn’t even look like gravity applies to him.
> 
> It’s not limited to the fighting, either – Nightwing seems to be one of those heroes that prefer to travel by rooftop. I saw him entering and exiting the scene via some kind of grappling hook contraption. I really noticed it when he was leaving – he does flips between buildings. _Lots_ of flips. Like, one would be enough, but he’s doing at least two or three – it’s hard to tell from a distance when it’s nighttime and most of his suit is black.
> 
> It got me thinking. Dick Grayson came from a family of circus acrobats, all of whom were known for being the only people in the world documented of being capable of a quadruple flip. Though Grayson no longer performs as part of Haley’s Circus, social media posts and interviews have made it clear he still keeps up with his acrobatic abilities. If he was capable of a quadruple flip at eight years old before he left the circus, there’s no telling what he’s capable of now, especially if he’s been training as a vigilante.
> 
> There’s also the fact that Grayson spent his childhood in Gotham City after being adopted by Bruce Wayne. Robin made his first appearance as early as 2000, about a year after Grayson had come to live with Wayne. If Wayne is Batman, or at least in cahoots with Batman, it’s highly probable that Grayson spent his formative years running around in hotpants yelling things like “Holy prison break, Batman!”
> 
> Enter teen angst. Nightwing made his debut in 2007, about a year after Wayne adopted Jason Todd. It’s been mentioned in interviews that Grayson and Wayne were not getting along at this point. If Wayne is Batman, then it’s likely Grayson split from Batman at this point and left to create his own identity. Grayson being at "boarding school" also conveniently lines up with times Nightwing (or Robin 1.0) was with the TItans. The Titans were offworld at the time of Todd's death and funeral. Grayson has faced a lot of public criticism for missing Todd’s funeral, not returning from whatever trip he was on until months after the fact. It's never been stated where he was at the time, so it's entirely possible he was Nightwing and with the Titans.
> 
> A few years later, Grayson moves to Blüdhaven and becomes a beat cop in the notoriously corrupt BPD. Apparently, he did phenomenally well in boot camp, though what “phenomenally well” entails in a department that is known for its corruption remains up for debate. Nightwing coincidentally makes his Blüdhaven debut around this time. If Grayson is Nightwing, that would mean Nightwing had an in at the BPD and easy access to information he otherwise would have had a much harder time getting.
> 
> Some truly crazy stuff goes down in Blüdhaven, culminating with its destruction by Chemo. Details surrounding the lead-up to this are vague and few records remain. How much Grayson and Nightwing were involved in this remains uncertain.
> 
> Grayson moves back to Gotham, as does, conveniently, Nightwing. All his more or less normal for a while, then Wayne does his disappearing act. That’s a whole ‘nother conspiracy theory, but for about six months Wayne dropped off the face of the earth except for making a handful of appearances at charity events, where many people reported finding him…off. Anyway, it’s during this time period that Nightwing disappears, and a seemingly new Robin makes his debut alongside a seemingly new Batman. This new Robin lines up with the sudden surfacing of Damian Wayne, and the new Batman has a moveset startlingly reminiscent of Nightwing’s.
> 
> Wayne eventually shows up again, the old Batman returns (though the old Robin doesn’t), and Nightwing starts making appearances again, which more or less brings us to the present.
> 
> There’s a lot of suspiciously convenient coincidences in Grayson and Nightwing’s timelines, but the biggest (heh) similarity by far is their asses. PLEASE LOOK AT DICK GRAYSON’S ASS. I know there’s like one (1) blurry pic of Nightwing’s rear end but trust me, those asses are identical. The proof is in that thicc-ass pudding.
> 
> tl;dr: dick grayson is nightwing because timelines match up and also great asses

submitted 4 years ago by **nanner915**  
17689 upvotes

> holy shit the fbi is about to come knocking at your door for this

submitted 2 years ago by **martiden  
** 17601 upvotes

> [Image attached: First image is a high quality HD photo of Dick Grayson’s rear end, taken from a magazine photo where he’s wearing a gymnastics leotard and doing a routine on the rings. Second image is a significantly lower quality photo of Nightwing back half, taken from about 30 to 50 feet away while Nightwing is bent over tying up a perp.]

submitted 3 years ago by **artbitfried  
** 17346 upvotes

> OK BUT HOW DOES THIS ENTIRE POST JUST FORGET THE FACT THAT DICK GRAYSON WAS ONCE ENGAGED TO SUPERMODEL KORY ANDERS AKA STARFIRE??? Also that he has a frequent on-again-off-again relationship with Barbara Gordon, who could very well have been the first Batgirl??

 

* * *

 

 **Vicki Vale ✔ @VickiVale** \- 4 hours ago  
Look, I know the "Jason Todd faked his death" is just a conspiracy theory and Wayne has asked the public to stop making light of their loss, but I saw this guy at a Waffle House at like 4AM a few weeks ago and...TELL ME he doesn't look like Todd.

[Images attached: The first image is a picture of a young man in his early twenties sitting at a table by a window in a Waffle House. He's broad-shouldered and muscular, with a strong jaw and a curious streak of gray hair at the front of his temple. He looks to be asleep, dozing with his head propped up on one hand. He has a black eye and some scratches on the side of his face that's visible, as well as bandages wrapped around two of the fingers of his visible hand. The second image is from a slightly different angle where more of his face is visible; he is indeed asleep, and the resemblance to a young Jason Todd is uncanny. The third picture is a photo of Jason from before his death; he's passed out on Bruce Wayne's shoulder at some social function, drooling on his father's expensive suit.]

 **sour cream! @taakito** \- 4 hours ago  
omfg i've seen this guy around! so glad i'm not just seeing things, i totally thought he was a ringer for todd too!!

[Image attached: The same man as in Vicki Vale's photos. This photo, taken surreptitiously from a few paces down the street, captures the Todd lookalike eating a chili dog he just ordered from a nearby street vendor.]

 **Jaysen @mightytenten** \- 2 hours ago  
**@VickiVale @taakito** I volunteer with this guy at the only after-school community center in the Bowery. I'm not gonna release his name, but the kids love him to bits and he's great at helping them with their Language Arts and English homework.

 **Jaysen @mightytenten** \- 2 hours ago  
**@VickiVale @taakito** Instead of stalking him and harassing the Wayne family, consider donating to the community center so we can keep its doors open. Every penny counts!  https://t.co/93REts387NYpxL

 

* * *

 

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED - TRUE CRIME S4 • E5   
**The Puzzling Death of Jason Todd**

4,896,364 views

____________________________________________

 **BuzzFeedBlue** ✔  
Published on July 27, 2018

Who killed Jason Todd? Did anyone even kill Jason Todd, or is he still alive? Unsolved has merch now, buy yours here! https://goo.gl/nGhyrc

SHOW MORE

____________________________________________

21,284 Comments

 **yallmightve** \- 5 hours ago  
how is it that the most reasonable, logical theory somehow seems like the least likely theory??? bruce wayne what the FUCK happened to your kid

 **Tobias Matthews** \- 6 hours ago  
"Oooh, rugs!"

 **RavioliRavioli** \- 9 hours ago  
yall motherfuckers from outside of gotham need to shut up and stop slandering bruce wayne like this. that man has done SO MUCH for this shithole city and the people who live here, and yet all the media likes to talk about his how he acts at parties!! who cares if he's a sloppy drunk lmfao he's one of the only people who actually hires convicted felons and the starting salary for every single of the positions in his company is ridiculously high

 **i lost my sock** \- 6 hours ago  
ok but actually where the hell WAS dick grayson while all this was going down ?????

 **Amelia Pond's Wife** \- 2 hours ago  
"bruce wayne please don't sue us" haha the fear in ryan's eyes

 

* * *

 

 **dsertbaby** reblogged **swagkage**

[Video: Twenty minute long Vine compilation of Vines from the Wayne family]

**combustionjunction:**

petition to get bruce wayne to fund a vine 2.0. justification: HIS KIDS' VINES ARE SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL LDSKJFDKLFJ

.

**katriusso:**

my new philosophy in life is to do as dick grayson does and just backflip out the nearest window whenever i encounter even the mildest inconvenience

.

**puffpopcorn:**

hey what the hell is that guy in the background at 6:23 the jason todd lookalike vicki vale has been tweeting about??? #JASONTODDALIVECONFIRMED

.

**gonfreckles:**

[Embedded images: The first is a screenshot of a frame from the above video, focused on the profile of a figure standing in the background of a shot of the Wayne kids dancing. It's rather blurry and his features are indistinct, but he's tall and wearing a leather jacket over broad shoulders. The one defining feature is a barely visible lock of gray hair curling over his forehead. The second is one of the photos Vale posted on Twitter.]

SLDKFSDFKJ IT'S TOTALLY HIM WHAT THE FUCK

source: combustionjunction

#vine #vine compilation #waynes #jason todd #DSLKFJSDLFKJ IM LOSING MY SHIT #it can't be real it CAN'T #but who the hell is this guy???

47,534 notes

 

* * *

 

/r/heroidentities

** Tim Drake is Red Robin **

submitted 1 year ago by **maelstromfishcake**  
16219 upvotes

> Look, I know this seems ridiculous seeing as Red Robin and Tim Drake have been seen together in the same place multiple times, but how many times do I have to say it - SHAPESHIFTERS ARE REAL. WE KNOW THEY'RE REAL.

> Known shapeshifters include: Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, and Clayface, among others I'm sure I'm forgetting about.

> Anyway, Miss Martian is the real important one. After all, she was a member of the Titans at the same time that Red Robin was presumably just Robin, the happy half of Gotham's Dynamic Duo. If we're going off the 5 Robins theory, Drake would have been the third Robin. If we recall Drake's life prior to being adopted by Bruce Wayne, you might remember that Drake's mother died, followed by his stepmother, followed by the serious injury and later death of his father. This turbulent home life could explain why the third Robin seemed to retire for a time.

> The fifth Robin showed up about two years ago, right about when Red Robin made his debut. This was also around the time that Wayne went more or less incognito for a few months for some reason, Damian first showed up, and we possibly got a new (temporary) Batman that may or may not have been Nightwing.

> Drake, despite declaring that he'd be taking a more active role in Wayne's company, wasn't seen that often during this time period - except for at one suspiciously publicized and high profile press conference where he was shot by an unknown perp. The guilty party was never found, no one ever claimed responsibility, and there were never any follow-up attempts on Drake's life. The whole thing reeks of a setup, especially since Red Robin - who, prior to this, had never even been seen during the day - conveniently swooped in to save Drake, and we've never seen any scars from the incident because the Waynes are never seen without a shirt on.

> Drake spent a few months with some crutches, but has since made a total recovery.

> My theory is that Miss Martian took on the appearance of Drake, while Drake played himself as Red Robin. The gunshots were either blanks or deliberately aimed to be nonlethal, keeping in mind Martin physiology as far as we understand isn't affected by physical wounds the same way humans are thanks to their shapeshifting abilities. All Drake had to do was use crutches in public for a while, and he basically got away with everyone thinking there was no way he could be Red Robin.

> The whole ordeal was probably orchestrated to throw someone specific off the trail, but it was so conspicuous I can't help but think of it as a setup. That's my opinion, at least.

submitted 6 months ago by **hemmingwheyyy**  
12342 upvotes

> ....i know a lot of people dismiss shapeshifter theories but....was there even any blood at the scene of the crime??? i'm looking at press photos from the event and there's no clear shots of the area behind the podium where there would have been blood spatter.

submitted 8 months ago by **iggymandeus** **  
** 9187 upvotes

> i'll bet you dollars to donuts it was done specifically to throw off either one of the villains or a particularly persistent reporter like vickie vale

submitted 2 months ago by **dipitybizarre  
** 8274 upvotes

> i never thought about how suspicious it was that the bats are basically never seen during the day. the goddamn world has to be ending before you'll catch sight of them before dusk, i swear. i'm still not sold on the shapeshifter theory, but something is definitely weird about red robin's appearance at the event.

 

* * *

 

[Photo: Tim Drake posing for a selfie, holding up a peace sign. Behind him, sitting on some couches in a room in Wayne Manor, are a handful of the Gotham vigilantes. None of their faces are visible. Nightwing's bright blue fingerstripes are distinct, as is the deep purple on Batgirl's uniform. Robin and Red Robin appear to be arguing with each other, while Red Hood and Black Bat seem to be playing a card game. Batman is conspicuously absent.]

liked by **justdickingaround** , **batmaninc** , **brucewayne** , and **12,976,312** others

 **heeeeresTIMMY** bruce hosted dinner for the bats a few weeks ago as a thank you for saving him from poison ivy yet again. red robin is VERY adamant that his cowl does not "look like a condom" or "make him look like doctor mid-nite." #nightwing #batgirl #robin #redrobin #redhood #blackbat #gothamvigilantes #batspotting #latergram

view all 8,973 comments

 **wonderwomanatee** ok but which one is jason [eyes emoji]

 **flashyolo** yeah, and how many known shape-shifters are there? we can't even see anything of their faces, these could just be some particularly dedicated larpers!! there's no way these are actually the bats lmao

 

* * *

 

 **Bat Spotting @BatSpotting** \- 12 hours ago  
Nightwing and Red Hood spotted talking (arguing?) on a roof near the R.H. Kane Building.

[Image attached: Distance shot of Nightwing and Red Hood standing on a rooftop. They're hard to make out, and the only things visible are Nightwing's fingerstripes, the position of which indicates he was mid-gesture when the photo was taken, and Red Hood's helmet.]

 **Bat Spotting @BatSpotting** \- 11 hours ago  
Nightwing and Red Hood apparently working together tonight, spotted eating fast food an anonymous tipper says they went through drive through to get.

[Image attached: Nightwing and Redhood sitting on the edge of a low roof, their legs dangling over the edge. There's an open bag between them, and Nightwing appears to be eating a sandwich of some kind. Red Hood's helmet is off, but his face is indistinct from this distance, and it appears he's wearing a domino mask as well.]

 **[lipstick kiss emoji] @peachIesbian** \- 4 hours ago  
**@BatSpotting** this is like the fourth time they've been spotted together in a month, are the bats REALLY working with red hood??? like did they just forget about the time he was killing drug dealers left and right without any due process??

 **it's a birb, it's a plane @sidnaenae** \- 4 hours ago  
**@peachIesbian @BatSpotting** yeah but there haven't been any known deaths by him in like 3 months, he might be shaping up. remember, he was in that pic tim drake posted the other week - wayne wouldn't let hood around his kids if he wasn't safe

 **[lipstick kiss emoji] @peachIesbian** \- 4 hours ago  
**@sidnaenae @BatSpotting** cool but like he still killed at least 8 people?? who made him judge, juror, and executioner??? the point of the bats is that they capture criminals/villains and solve cases

 **[lipstick kiss emoji] @peachIesbian** \- 4 hours ago  
**@sidnaenae @BatSpotting** after that, it's up to the system to punish the criminals/villains, not the bats. they don't get to be the end-all, be-all decider of who gets mercy and who doesn't.

 

* * *

 

 **seastriker** reblogged **bushsleftballsack**

**decku:**

ok look i know like 80% of gotham would fucking die for batman and his various accomplices but like. can we have a real conversation for a minute? we need to talk about how most of batman's accomplices are either currently underage or were underage when they began working with him. grown man wants to dress as a bat and fight crime? weird, but more or less forgivable. grown man wants to dress as a bat and fight crime alongside a _small child?_ way less forgivable.

i'm running off the assumption that there have been 5 robins and 3 batgirls, fyi.

photos of the robins are notoriously hard to come by (despite their brightly colored costumes), and photos prior to the advent of smartphones are especially scarce. nevertheless, some exist, and it's possible to make some guesses about their ages off them. we can estimate that:

  * robin 1.0 was in his mid teens when he retired/became nightwing, and was active as robin for about 6 years
  * robin 2.0 was in his mid teens when he retired/died, and was active as robin for about 2 years
  * robin 3.0 was in his late teens when he retired the first time and in his late teens/early 20s when he retired the second time/became red robin, and was active as robin for about 5-6 years
  * robin 4.0 was in her late teens when she was killed, and was active as robin for about 3 months
  * robin 5.0 is currently in his preteens, and has been active as robin for about 2 years



photos of the batgirls are a little easier to come by, but not by much. we can estimate that:

  * batgirl 1.0 was in her mid/late teens when she retired/died, and was active for about 5 years
  * batgirl 2.0 is almost impossible to guess the age of given she covered her body entirely and appeared to never speak. she was active for about 4 years
  * batgirl 3.0 is currently in her early 20s, and has been active for about 2 years



for more info on how i estimated their ages and how long they were active, check out my post here.

some notable instances of violence each of these kids dealt with while wearing the cape (aside from the standard stuff the comes along with vigilante justice in gotham):

  * robin 1.0: had the shit beat out of him by two face early on in his run to the point where robin made no appearances for about 6 months
  * robin 2.0: the joker claims to have killed him, but we should take everything the joker says with a grain of salt. claim, however, could be backed up by the fact that batman had a serious downward spiral in the year after robin 2.0 disappeared, possibly mourning the loss of his sidekick
  * robin 3.0: red hood, the sometimes-ally with unknown ties to batman, beat the shit out of him
  * robin 4.0: black mask literally killed her. if he's to be believed, he also tortured her too.
  * robin 5.0: it's rumored he was pushed off a roof at one point. he's still in the game, but a fall like the one rumored would do serious damage.
  * batgirl 1.0: we have no idea if she died or if she retired. she just disappeared.
  * batgirl 2.0: i don't know what her deal was and i'm hesitant to make assumptions. best case scenario she liked covering her whole body and not speaking; worst case scenario she suffered serious abuse. it's hard to say.
  * batgirl 3.0: nothing has happened yet



i really can't understate how awful and violent crime is in gotham. these children are probably stopping rapes and seeing grisly murders and all kinds of stuff nobody should have to see in their lifetime, let alone as a child. it's inexcusable that batman is exposing kids to this kind of violence and appears to be actively supporting them putting their life in danger almost every night - even school nights. when are these kids sleeping? when are they getting work done?

ultimately, people need to stop and think for a second. a lot of us are willing to let the laws slide for vigilantism, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. batman needs to answer for his actions and face repercussions for endangering minors.

.

**alexusrye:**

ultimately, what is the difference between the robins/batgirls and child soldiers?

.

**vzvshio:**

fuck and combined with the theory that bruce wayne is batman...yikes.

source: decku

#long post #txt #text heavy #heroes #gotham #child abuse / #batman #shit #i'd never thought of it that way #how are superman and wonder woman ok with this???

5,814 notes

 

* * *

   
**Bruce Wayne Reacts to Shipping Fanart**

3,487,023 views

____________________________________________

 **The Late Show with Stephen Colbert**  
Published on August 19, 2018

Bruce Wayne, Gotham bachelor, party boy, and billionaire philanthropist, is at the heart of several bizarre Internet conspiracy theories, one of which being that he's secretly dating the Gotham vigilante and Justice League member known only as "Batman." Watch as Wayne reacts!

SHOW MORE

____________________________________________

16,724 Comments

 **Antonia** \- 3 weeks ago  
THEY DID NOT JUST SHOW BRUCE WAYNE EXPLICIT PORN OF BATMAN FUCKING HIM OH MY GOD

 **omightyoracle** \- 2 days ago  
"does my ass really look that good?" omg brucie honey have you ever looked in a mirror

 **Celeste Vaugn** \- 5 days ago  
I drew the third picture they showed him! If they're going to shame and ridicule fanartists the least they could do is CREDIT US.

 **Vivi** \- 2 weeks ago  
OK BUT HE DIDN'T DENY IT

 

* * *

 

 **Bat Spotting @BatSpotting** \- 9 hours ago  
Batgirl and Black Bat spotted taking cover from a sudden thunderstorm!

[Attached image: Batgirl and Black Bat huddled under the awning of an otherwise empty bus stop. They appear to be hugging each other.]

 **lis [venezuelan flag emoji] @korrasbiceps** \- 6 hours ago  
**@BatSpotting** HAROLD..........

 

* * *

 

 **oldspicy** reblogged **lesbianteapot**

[Video: A clip from _Jimmy Kimmel Live_ 's "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets" segment, this time featuring Bruce Wayne.]

**ginnungagap:**

lmfaooooo remember the time bruce wayne was on celebrity mean tweets and like half of the tweets were from his own damn kids

.

**haroldwithab:**

"got real drunk at the gala last night and distinctly remember thinking bruce's face looked like play-doh" this is sexiest-man-alive-on-sexiest-man-alive violence

.

**1800runasty:**

"father confiscated my knife collection last night. in the words of grayson, he's about to catch my hands." HOW IS A TWELVE YEAR OLD SO THREATENING?? why does he have KNIVES what is this family UP TO

source: ginnungagap

#video #bruce wayne #waynes #'bruce wayne's muscles look like balloons she shoved under his shirt no way they're real' #AND THEN HE FLEXED SO HARD THE SLEEVES SPLIT #really what the hell IS that family up to

23,982 notes

 

* * *

 

 **danny @ladyoftheunderground** \- 2 days ago  
DLFKJSLDKFJSLDKF

 **danny @ladyoftheunderground** \- 2 days ago  
HUMANITY'S UNENDING THIRST FOR DICK GRAYSON IS THE ONE UNIVERSAL CONSTANT

[Images attached: The first photo is a screenshot from _Billy on the Street_ where Billy Eichner asks a random woman, "Excuse me, for one dollar - what are your thoughts on Dick Grayson?" The second image is the woman responding, "I want him to f*** me so hard my organs get rearranged." The third photo is Billy asking a random man, "Excuse me, for one dollar - what are your thoughts on Dick Grayson?" The fourth image is the man responding, "He's the reason I realized I'm gay."

 **danny @ladyoftheunderground** \- 2 days ago  
where's that tweet about how dick grayson looks like he knows he's attractive to lesbians

[Images attached: The first photo is Billy asking a random woman, "Excuse me, for one dollar - what are your thoughts on Dick Grayson?" The second image is the woman responding, "He's both my husband and mine's "special condition." The third photo is Billy asking another random woman, "Excuse me, for one dollar - what are your thoughts on Dick Grayson?" The fourth image is her responding, "I'm a lesbian but I'd kill for his look. Mr. Grayson, whoever your stylist is, tell them to hit me up!"]

 **the blood of angry men @cheeleedogs** \- 2 days ago  
puh-lease. grayson looks like every horny housewife's wet dream combined and i'm gonna beat his ass #squareupbitch

 

* * *

 

 **skerpla** reblogged **harrypotterinthetardis**

**lesbianbatwoman:**

ok look i know everyone with eyes is thirsting over the wayne boys but can we stop ignoring cass cain?? you know, bruce wayne's only daughter and LESBIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE?

[Embedded image: A candid photo of Cass Cain. She's wearing a gray three-quarter-length tee with jeans and a pair of Doc Martins. Her hair is trimmed and effortlessly styled into a messy pixie; she has an undercut.]

LOOK AT HER, KISSING HER GIRLFRIEND

[Embedded image: Another candid photo of Cass, this time caught just as she leaves a kiss on her blonde girlfriend's cheek. The unnamed girlfriend is blushing beet-red.]

here she is at pride with her dad!!

[Embedded image: Cass, the unnamed girlfriend, and Bruce Wayne posing for the camera. Cass has the lesbian flag painted on her cheeks, the unnamed girlfriend has the bi flag hanging over her shoulders as a cape, and Bruce is holding a sign that says "I LOVE MY LESBIAN DAUGHTER."]

in conclusion: yall need to be supporting the HELL out of this wonderful lesbian and her lovely girlfriend!!!

.

**nadanadalimonada:**

holy shit i did some digging and i'm fairly certain the girlfriend is stephanie brown, aka TIM DRAKE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND. he brought her to a gala once and everything

[Embedded image: Tim Drake and Stephanie brown arm in arm at a gala; they're visibly younger. Stephanie is in a nice purple dress.]

CASS GOT GAME

source: lesbianbatwoman

#txt #waynes #cass cain #!!!! #lesbian tag #[eyes emoji] #I HAD NO IDEA

15,936 notes

 

* * *

 

 

 **Bruce Wayne opens up about anti-Semitism, racism  
** by Clark Kent

GOTHAM -  The weather is dreary today; but then again, the weather is always dreary in Gotham. The depressing Gotham atmosphere is held at bay by the kind, generous nature of Bruce Wayne, who has invited me over to lunch at Wayne Manor. The menu, while surely average to him, is decadent to anyone else. Compliments to the chef - Alfred Pennyworth, the man largely responsible for raising Wayne and his many children. Conversation over lunch is pleasant. Wayne is doting father who sings praises of his children's accomplishments at any chance he gets - today he spent most of lunch talking about how excellent his daughter Cassandra Cain is at ballet. "Dick got her lessons as a birthday present a few years back," Wayne says. "She's a natural - remind me to invite you to her next recital."

At twenty-two, Cassandra (or Cass, as she likes to be called) is the second oldest of Wayne's remaining children, but was the fourth one adopted. The famous line-up also includes Richard "Dick" Grayson (twenty-seven), Timothy "Tim" Drake (twenty-one), and Damian Wayne (twelve). Jason Todd, Wayne's second child, was murdered in 2009 at the age of fifteen. His death is the topic of a recently viral conspiracy theory, and is the reason I'm sitting here with Wayne today.

The Wayne family is subject to numerous conspiracy theories, not all of them kind.

As an extremely wealthy Jewish man, Wayne has dealt with virulent anti-Semitism his whole life. "The kinder ones compare me to George Soros," Wayne says with a wry grin. "Any time people protest gun violence and advocate for gun control, some far-right loons start insisting I'm paying protestors as part of my plan to infiltrate the government with my wishy-washy liberal ideals. The others..." He trails off, pursing his lips and looking away.

Wayne doesn't use his social media accounts much. Mostly, he nabs the "brucewayne" username and leaves the account mostly forgotten, aside from a few posts every now and then (and liking/sharing his kids' posts). This doesn't stop certain groups from constantly pinging his profiles with all kinds of hate. It's horrific. He frequently has literal Nazis calling for his death.

Wayne has also been accused of blood libel, running a sex trafficking ring, cannibalism, and ritualistic murder, among other things. There's no proof to back these accusations up, of course, but such is the nature of conspiracy theories.

"I could handle it if it was just me dealing with the harassment," he says, "but it's not. All of my kids get these awful messages."

Grayson is Rroma, an ethnicity more commonly known by a racial slur than its actual name. "Dick is literally the kindest person I know," Wayne says. "Superman has nothing on him. Dick has a bit of a temper, but when it comes down to it, he just wants people to be happy. I'm afraid I spoiled him when he was younger, but he always turned around and gave just about everything to charity. He still gets accused of stealing, though, and people assume his temper comes from his ancestry. It's awful what people say about him," Wayne says. The grip on his glass is tighter than it needs to be.

"The worst was right after I adopted him and some people refused to allow him to attend their events because they thought he'd steal their silverware." Wayne sniffs disdainfully. "We cut ties with _those people_ immediately."

Todd was Latino. He grew up bilingual, but preferred to speak Spanish. "He was born and raised in Gotham," Wayne says, "but there were always people asking me if he had his papers, like they thought Jay had crossed the border and made it all the way up to Jersey himself. Frankly, I'm pro-immigration so I wouldn't have had any problems if that _was_ the case, but I know the assumption drove Jay mad."

Wayne chuckles. "Jay used to curse the worst ones out in Spanish all the time, then smile politely and tell them he was complimenting their outfit when they asked what he said. They could tell he was lying, but it wasn't like any of them could speak Spanish to prove him wrong."

Drake, like Wayne, is also Jewish. Both men confess to not practicing the faith and only engaging in their heritage culturally. "Tim gets some truly nasty comments online thanks to his visbility in Wayne Enterprises," Wayne says. "Every conspiracy theory there is out there about Jewish people being rich and secretly controlling everything? Tim and I have been on the receiving end of it. It doesn't help that Tim also came from a fairly wealthy family." Pennyworth, who has entered to bring us dessert, clicks his tongue in distaste.

"The lizard people theory is outrageous," Pennyworth says in his stiff British accent. "I was present at your birth," he says to Wayne, "I think I'd know if you were actually a lizard." Wayne grins.

Cain, Wayne's only daughter, is Chinese. The Waynes don't discuss her living situation prior to her adoption, but it has been made clear Cain was the subject of much abuse that left her extremely unwilling to talk. "People tend to forget about Cass," Wayne says. "She's the only girl, and she's not nearly as active on social media as her siblings. She posts even less than I do, I think. But when they remember she exists..." He frowns. "She's had all kinds of ableist slurs thrown at her, just because she doesn't talk a lot. The worst, though, are the people who assume she was some sort of mail order bride and I brought her over from China to be some sort of... _sex slave_." He lets out a sharp breath. "It's disgusting. I would _never_ _!_ "

Damian, the only known biological child, is Pakistani. Living in a post-9/11 world means there is serious negative sentiment towards people with heritage from South Asia. "Damian's brilliant," Wayne says. "His mother had him tutored by the finest instructors she could find, and it paid off. I put Damian in private school mostly as an attempt to socialize him more with his peers." He frowns. "Right now, I'm seriously entertaining the idea of pulling him out and just homeschooling him, socialization be damned. His classmates, whom he's leagues ahead of, have called him a terrorist and worse on multiple occasions, and no amount of intervention seems to be stopping them."

The Wayne has numerous suits against social media platforms that allow the targetted harassment of himself and his children to go by largely unpunished. "The big question these days whenever there's some sort of attack is 'Who radicalized them?'" Wayne says. "More and more, we're seeing that the Internet, though a great vessel of knowledge, has also become a great vessel of hate for extremist groups. When platforms like Twitter refuse to make meaningful change to their harassment policy, they're directly enabling radicalization to continue. Every tweet they leave unpunished about how I eat children is another chance for some kid with too much time on his hands to get sucked into the world of bigoted conspiracy theories." He sighs heavily.

"I can handle the hate, but those asshole out there...they need to leave my kids alone. My kids are off limits."

READ MORE AT DAILYPLANET.COM

 

* * *

 

[Image: A well-sketched drawing of a small spotted cat curled up next to a large, sleeping Great Dane.]

liked by **justdickingaround, brucewayne, itseggplantbitch** , and 10,349 others

 **thewayneandonly** Pencil sketch of Titus and Alfred.

view all 193 comments

 **justdickingaround** DAMIAN!!! omg this is so good please let me get it framed!!! the detail on their fur is amazing!!

 **redinthehood** he lets you have a dog AND a cat???? what the fuck no fair

 

* * *

 

 **People ✔ @People** \- 2 days ago  
Who is the mysterious mother of Bruce Wayne's only known biological child? https://t.co/94BRte076MEwqRV

 **shoujou princess** @rowses - 2 days ago  
**@People** not me but like i COULD be if you get what i mean. mr wayne please contact me i'm young and beautiful and excellent with kids xoxo **  
**

 

* * *

 

 **itsdiobitch** reblogged **bisexualbelle**

 **tenthiccthots:  
** there's this guy who consistantly comments on every single wayne family instagram post, even the ones clearly posted by a PR team, and like...his username made me wonder if he's the red hood (his username is literally redinthehood)??? so i went to his page and

[Embedded image: A screenshot of redinthehood's most recent Instagram posts. All but one are photos of various chili dogs; the odd one out is a photo of an absurdly fluffy dog.]

[Embedded image: A screenshot of one of redinthehood's instagram posts. The image features a chili dog. The tagged location is "We Let the Dogs Out Food Truck." The caption reads, "Not bad. Dog 8/10, bun 7/10, onions 9/10, cheese 9/10, condiments 8/10. Overall satisfaction 8/10. #chilidog #foodie]

all of his posts are like this. who is he. why does he have so many followers, all he does is post food truck chili dog reviews and sometimes cute animals?? i don't know if it's better or worse that i can't tell if this is actually the red hood or not

.

**hotdoggirl:**

didn't jason todd love chili dogs?

.

**soquitecontrary:**

omg when will you losers SHUT UP about jason todd he's dead!!! not everything is some goddamn jason todd conspiracy theory!! op just found someone who gets off to chili dogs leave that dead kid out of this

source: tenthiccthots

#txt #food / #soquitecontrary is right tbh #it was funny at first now it's just sad #get some new conspiracy theories you losers

9,742 notes

 

* * *

 

 **we dem boys @noatun** \- 47 minutes ago  
everyone assuming that jason todd is fully dead or that he faked his death is forgetting the weirdest thing about superhero culture: they die and come back to life all the time

 **we dem boys @noatun** \- 46 minutes ago  
i'm just saying that if todd really was robin it's not unlikely that he actually did die and that some weird, cosmic event or alien device or something brought him back

 **hawkguy @kabukichou** \- 32 minutes ago  
**@noatun** don't be ridiculous

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to my friend [insomniac-piggy](http://insomniac-piggy.tumblr.com/), who talked me through some plot bunnies and spurred me into writing this fic, and my longtime pal [steph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinn_Raven/works), who, unlike me, never really left the batfandom. 
> 
> seriously, i'm so sorry, duke and harper. i know nothing about you besides that you exist. you seem cool.
> 
> if you wanna catch me posting about the batfam once in a blue moon, check me out on tumblr at [autumnalesbean](http://autumnalesbean.tumblr.com/).


End file.
